11 July 2013 @ 12:19 pm
I hate the fefriendlyreminders Tumblr. I don't know why I don't unfollow it. -_-

PS. Got the tutoring job. Start August 21st.
10 July 2013 @ 01:38 am
personal reference you don't have to bother reading this shit:

fanfic idea list/thing idk )


skipping class a lot because it's so stupid and pointless and paying $50 in gasoline a week to learn nothing is ridiculous. I can work on a paper by myself kthx.
01 July 2013 @ 09:05 pm
Got an interview at the writing centre for Monday at 2:00pm. Maybe I'll get lucky! It doesn't pay hardly anything but it'll look good on a resumé!
23 June 2013 @ 09:45 pm

-My mother is in the ER, the hospital is keeping her overnight. I can't say why exactly, because I don't know. She does need surgery soon but the possible side effects of the surgery are pretty bad.

-June, the wife of my pastor who passed away in Feburary, has breast cancer. Again. This time the other breast. She'll probably have to have another mastectomy. And she needs surgery on her shoulder.

-I think I'm going to volunteer down at my old high school. Their principal is one of the staff members I knew pretty well, and he knew my siblings too. Step One in teaching: get in good with the school that you live a mile from. It might be useful someday. I'll volunteer to tutor of course, and for all I care I can do photocopying/grading for one of the teachers. Just wanna get my foot in the door.

-I might go to the doctor just to shut my mom up about my earaches. I swear if they were infections, I'd have lost all hearing in my left ear by now. They hurt so badly sometimes that it's like someone's sticking a pin inside my ear. But if I go to the doctor I can at least tell my mother it was nothing to be concerned over. She keeps bringing it up. "ARE YOU SURE...?" Yes mother dear, I'm positive. I've had these for over a year I'm pretty sure they'd have ruined my hearing by now if it was an infection. (Ruined it more than it already is ruined, anyway.)

-Topic proposal paper is done. It feels too academic but I don't care. I doubt this professor cares, either.

-I think the real reason I continue to go by "Manna" in real life is because it sets me apart from others. I just realized I filled out my application to the tutoring centre with my birth name and if they call any of my references and address me by my birth name they'll have no idea who the fuck I am. Good times. I might call them and stress my nickname.

-I hope I get to exchange papers with Mr. Blue Pen tomorrow for our peer grading thing. He was the only person who said anything intelligent on my paper last time.

Anyway I'm super bored.

So have this picture of my cats. (Tiny is huge.)
19 June 2013 @ 12:32 am
My day was boring but all three English professors I've had emailed me back and told me to use them for a reference. And Andy added:

Let me know when you start working, so I can refer all my English 1100 and 2100 students to you!

;__; She's so nice. I wish she was my professor for this class too, hahaha.

Also apparently my biological clock is starting to tick. it's yelling at me to go create mannaspawn or else. Not that I listen to it. All those years of my body not giving a shit when I just wanted to be like everyone else (coughnormalcough) and now of all times it's starts sobbing at me maaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaa think about baaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbiiiiiiieeeeeeeessssssss.

no body, no

I'm trying to make it alive to 30. That's my goal in life right now. If I make it that far I will be impressed.
17 June 2013 @ 09:49 pm
"Please in clude the name, title, and a phone number of at least two people who can describe your skills as a writer, a communicator, and/or an employee (one work reference, one academic preferred)."

If one of my three professors and my last supervisor email me back, I'll be set. But it has to be soon.

PS. that writing test was hard seriously what the FUCK is an adverb and how am I supposed to know what proper pronoun usage is? I just fixed shit because it all sounded like, uhm, shit.
13 May 2013 @ 06:13 pm
•test was a failure
•quiz last week? 75% -_-
•homework was all right I guess.

So I turned in my exam and my professor was like, "Ahhh Manna!! I was so pleased by your homework! Why did you say you weren't very good at this? You know what you're doing!"

I just. Stopped. And was like. "What."

So I told her I was considering dropping and she was like "NON NON!!! Don't drop the class! Come to me for help! I'll help, you'll be fine!"

And I'm thinking to myself, "You have no idea." But I say, "I made that stuff up. I don't understand the basic function of this language. I barely understand how English works."

I mean, writing is self-taught. I was 16 and I taught myself how to write properly. I never wrote a paper in high school. I wrote a story once, in the fifth grade. Other than that, I never had to actually write more than a sentence or two in a row. So. Self-taught. This means I didn't learn all that shit about sentences and how they function--

And I realize this is stupid because I'm an English major in the Liberal Arts department (instead of fine arts with the creative folks)--

But I will never make it as a writer, because the only passion I have for writing? Is for fanfiction. Egads.

That said, when I don't understand the basic, I don't know, foundations? of my own language, how can I expect to understand them in French? Or Spanish? Or anything else?

I dropped the class.

I didn't admit to the professor that I was typing every homework "explanation" into Google Fucking Translate to figure out what I was even supposed to do, or that I looked off of the answer key to give myself an idea of how to invert questions, or answer everything else. But if she asks, I'll admit it.

Like, I don't understand enough to pass the class. Let alone the NEXT level of French after that. On a summer schedule when they try to shove us through a semester of classes in a damned month. (Two classes = two months. TWO SEMESTERS OF FRENCH IN TWO MONTHS. NON.)

I emailed the professor. She's really nice and upbeat and I like her, but IMO it's not worth stressing myself out (the class gives me the worst social anxiety I've ever felt in my life) and feeling sick all of the time because I'm so far behind on understanding stuff I should already know. I didn't want her to think it was her fault, because it's not. It's totally me.

Today is the last day, I guess, to drop and still get a partial refund, so it's better for me to drop now than Friday (to not get a W) or after Friday (with a W). I guess I'll sit at home and maybe study on my own, but I'm HEAVILY considering starting over with ASL (American Sign Language). I think ASL is up my alley because it's something I can associate visual cues with. Or even audio if I want to say something while I sign it! That would help me remember.

Anyway, that means my summer will be pretty dull but at least I'll have time to go for a walk with the dog every day. Leila would appreciate some exercise. And I think I should get some for myself, too.

Sigh. I'm disappointed that I'll have to start all over again with something new, basically wasting a year of my life to get French out of the way only to drop it. But at least I was only 50% done with it anyway.

The others in the class are just as lost as I am but still. They can't slow it down. Because there's another level to take right afterward.

After I see that it's dropped off of the record/etc I'll feel better. So much less stress. Only a writing class. I don't have five hours a night to study French to catch up, and EVEN IF I DID, I couldn't concentrate on something in a book for that long. No way.

TL;DR, I dropped French class because I'm a chickenshit and I couldn't take it anymore. :(
13 May 2013 @ 11:31 am
My first French exam is in a couple of hours. Let me just say that, uhm...I'm not completely lost, but some of this stuff is just confusing for me. For example, the lequel/lesquels/laquels/auquels whatever else the fuck there is. Saw this for the first time on Thursday--have an exam on it today. Nobody in class understood it on Thursday either. -_- I think the problem is that there are a lot of words that we don't know, and when you don't understand what the sentence is trying to say, it's hard figuring out which form of the word to use (masc/fem).

I think the 17th is the last day to drop the class without a W. The 30th is the last day to drop with a W.

I'll see how I do on the first exam before I make a decision regarding what to do. I don't think I have much of a chance of doing well in this class, but we'll see. I might also just talk to the professor and see what she thinks.

But I hate it when professors are like, "AWW YOU'LL DO FINEEEEE." -_- Like, do you see how badly done this work is??? An art professor wouldn't say that! BE HONEST WITH MEEEE.

Heavily considering ASL as an alternative.
12 May 2013 @ 12:31 am
You know that sound that you hear when a clock chimes the hour? I have literally been hearing it all day off and on. I'll hear between 12 to 16 chimes and then it stops for like ten seconds and starts up again.

If I could hear it anywhere in the house but my bedroom, I would think someone was fucking with me. (Probably in revenge for putting that trollface paper on the sink opposite the toilet that says, "Problem?")

Alas. I'm pretty sure I'm JUST GOING CRAZY INSTEAD.

That said, More Than Words only has one more chapter and an epilogue left. And [personal profile] kender gave me the brilliant idea of writing a lovely chaptered Serra/Oswin 'fic. Dammit Kender. I'm kind of excited about writing it, though. I doubt it exceeds 10 chapters. But MTW wasn't supposed to exceed five...


I suck at French. Like. I'm really bad at it. So bad. I am so completely out of my element. I'll be lucky to get a C in the class. Maybe I'll be lucky to pass with a D. It's terrifying. I should have just taken ASL. What was I thinking. That class makes me want to puke. I just can't stand it.

I had like sixteen pages of homework to do this weekend and I finished most of it, but damn if I wouldn't be completely lost on all of the listening exercises if I didn't have an answer key. I'm fine if I can read something but I just can't understand ANYTHING when I listen to it.

Sigh. We have an exam on Monday, too. I hope I do all right on it. I don't know nearly enough. And I'm too tired to do anything but the homework. Studying last-minute is going to suck. The homework should help a little though. But a week to memorize a ton of vocab on top of learning stuff that never stuck to begin with (inverting questions? I don't even know how to write a sentence properly! AHHHH.) ahhhhhh ahhhh.

Oh well. Just the summer. Then I'm done. With French. And I'll never. Ever. Have to look at it. Again. ;_;


I think my problem is that, despite the fact that I write a lot, I actually don't understand the English language very well? So understanding a foreign language is hard, too. I totally froze up on the quiz on Thursday. ADJECTIVES WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT WHAT DO I DO WHY DON'T I REMEMBER ANY WORDS HOW DO I SAY I'M SINGLE IT'S NOT CONAITRE WHY DOES THAT WORD NEVER LEAVE ME ALONE I KNOW IT STARTS WITH A C OH DAMMIT I'LL JUST MAKE SHIT UP. So I did. And as soon as I turned the paper in. I remembered the word for being single/unmarried.

I never used to panic during tests. This must be a new thing. I blame French class entirely. ;_;


Seriously what is this chiming sound WHERE IS IT COMING FROM IT IS DRIVING ME FUCKING CRAZY.
06 May 2013 @ 05:10 pm
I never update this thing because I suck. Actually, like two people read it and I talk to them on AIM anyway soooo.

Let's see.


1. French class: HAHAAHAHAHAHAHA. The professeur has a phD in both French and Spanish. Fun times. She slipped into Spanish a couple of times during the lecture. Which was entirely en français. I understood like 12% of what was going on. Alex kept laughing next to me. I think he was lost, too.

2. I'm moved into the bedroom. Took like three full days to do it, too. I went a whole day without a television, then caved in and brought my brother's old TV inside my room. It's bigger than my old 27" (not by a lot, but it weighs like 100lbs less), but it has tons of lines across the screen. HAHAHAHA. It's hard to see. But whatever. I watch DVDs for background shit anyway.

3. My girls (Tiny & CiCi) are settled in all right.

4. I haven't gotten shit done.

5. My mother suddenly came to the realization that I probably have a long-untreated UTI. This is funny because I've mentioned it like 20 times. Why else would I be running to the bathroom every hour? My backaches have gotten worse, too. And I think I might have an unexplained fever--just a slight one, though. She started flipping out on me saying stuff like I FEEL HORRIBLE I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN I AM SO MAD AT MYSELF FOR NOT FIGURING IT OUT SOONER YOU ARE DRINKING WATER AND-- And I was like, Mother Dear, I did. Like three months ago I went three weeks drinking only water and it didn't help at all. But whatever. Attempt #2.

6. Fanfic ideas out the wazoo and no time to work on them. Uhhm. I'm going to start one for FE7 soon I think. About the tactician. BUT NOT WHAT YOU THINK. Pseudo-spoof of the "kid from the modern world ends up in the game" idea that everyone and their gramma writes. But better. And hopefully funnier. And more realistic. The twist is that they're not from modern-day USA or Europe, but from modern-day Elibe, and they're going into the past because the events that happened in FE7/FE6 are history textbook things. ;P The downside is that it'll probably be in first person.

7. More Than Words has dragged on too long and is now probably one of the worst things I've ever written. Still going to try and finish it. But all future things will be posted to my other account. I think. Unless I panic and change my mind.

8. Rewatching Record of Lodoss War, too, btw. :D
23 April 2013 @ 01:47 am
Okay sooo things.

1. Finals are over.
2. Got a 76 on my science final. YUCK. I knew I'd do badly, though. No curve at all because the class averaged a 70. >< Bastards!
3. There goes my 4.0. It was nice knowing you, perfect GPA. /waves handkerchief
4. 87% on my French interview.
5. Not sure if I want to know how I did on my French final though. Eek.
6. I keep dreaming that people are ordering boneless hot wings and eating them without me. I get so pissed in my dreams over it, too. It's like I'm catching my husband cheating on me, but no, it's just a friend cheating on me with hot wings and not sharing WTF.
7. I am so hungry for boneless wings. BBQ would be good, too. Damn.
17 April 2013 @ 06:14 pm
Does anyone actually know how to answer the question: "So what do you want to do with your life?"

Because it's such a weighty question. I don't think people realize that when they ask it. I don't think people think about it enough when they should, and they do when they shouldn't.

It's such a depressing question.
12 April 2013 @ 06:29 pm
Ughhh I am so tired. I'm glad I signed up as tentative for raid tonight because I have so much "art" to do that it hurts.

Two hours of sleep.
The worst headache ever. (Because my TMJ gets 5000% worse when I'm stressed, so my jaw hurts, my ear hurts, and both of those make my HEAD hurt. AHHHHH!)

I tried sleeping in my car but like, I forgot a damn bell chimed every 15min on campus??? :| And I forgot how much my backseat sucks because it's not flat. Nice to sit in, not nice to lie on. Also the lecture I skipped? Everyone got extra credit for going today. OF COURSE.

I can't wait until next week is just OVER.
11 April 2013 @ 06:39 pm
So how bad of a person am I if I abuse the pen tool in photoshop to do this "art" for my French class? XDDDD
09 April 2013 @ 11:24 pm
I just wanted to inform everyone that I am such a dumbass nerd I now refer to eating cereal as "eating an aquifer"; my sister has moved that we refer to cereal as a "milquifer" but I'm not sure I agree.


(Why doesn't my college have a geology minor?????????????

Katie was like, "I want a geology minor. Can you imagine that? Psychology major--GEOLOGY MINOR. Why? BECAUSE.")
04 April 2013 @ 03:07 am
I'm annoyed with my advisors at the moment buuuuutttt I'm changing my schedule around. Fuck math. I'll do that later.

For the fall I'll have classes Tues/Wed/Thurs! So only three days! It'll be SO nice on gasoline! (An hour drive in an SUV adds up, lemme tell ya.)

So far my new schedule should look something like this:

8am: AMERICAN HISTORY!!!111one
9:30am: American Texts/Lit
11am: BLANK! Might put another history class here?
12:30pm: YA Lit
3:30pm: Psychology

And then Wednesday:
8:40am: Psych Lab-- in a lab with only EIGHT PEOPLE!!!!!!
10:10am: DINOSAURS LAB!!!11one

This will be 16 credit hours. If something fails me I can take an online course about African writers (??? I know right, what) that counts toward my major. Mmmm, and I think I can smash another class in there at 11am but do I really need more work? I'm not sure. I can't decide! I can take up to 20 credit hours without getting side-eyed I think.

Ahhh to take one more class or no?? Maybe overloading myself would be bad.

I was eyeballing a late night Civil War class, then I was for...grad students only???? And I was like but what if I flash my GPA???? What if I cry for them??? IT LOOKS LIKE SO MUCH FUN WHY ARE THEY HAVING FUN WITHOUT ME I will fucking take that class sooner or later IDGAF.

Uhmmm also, Irish professor at 8am??? Okay. Dropped my later class for that. I know how stupid that sounds but I promise you, for someone like me who can barely walk anymore without running out of breath or having trouble breathing, I need a good parking spot. I don't think my doctor will write 'lazy fucker' on a handicapped tag for me as much as I wish he would.

Also I am fatter but I lost weight???? Someone explains bodies why do they do this it does not make sense.
03 April 2013 @ 05:35 pm
Dumbest question ever, but does anyone have a favorite fairy tale?

Preferably not anything mentioned in The Great Cat Massacre though nobody here has read that so they wouldn't know anyway


Also unrelated but wooo I picked my minor!!!! <33333333

01 April 2013 @ 01:18 am
Soooo my fridge died.

It was sad.

Everything melted in the freezer. At first we though the air was blocked but obviously if everything in the freezer melted that is not the case and my father suspects the thing has just...kind of died. Well it was like 15 years old it had a good life.

(I will try to save it anyway. I CAN'T BELIEVE MY ICE CREAMS MELTED. Oh well.)

30 March 2013 @ 04:25 pm
Hmm, so I'm registering for fall classes. So far here's what my fall schedule will look like:

Math: 8:00am--8:55am
Psychology Lab: 9:30am--10:50am

Math: 8:00am--8:55am
American Literature: 9:30am--10:50am
Young Adult Literature: 12:30pm--1:50pm
Paleobiology of Dinosaurs: 2:00pm--3:20pm
Psychology: 3:30pm--4:50pm

Math: 8:00am--8:55am
Paleobiology of Dinosaurs Lab: 10:10am--12:05pm

Math: 8:00am--8:55am
American Literature: 9:30am--10:50am
Young Adult Literature: 12:30pm--1:50pm
Paleobiology of Dinosaurs: 2:00pm--3:20pm
Psychology: 3:30pm--4:50pm

And that's it! No Friday classes!

However, the American Lit class is already full (and I can't register for a few more days); I have to hope someone drops it. And the YA Lit class requires a department signature, so I'll have to get on that right away.
28 March 2013 @ 05:09 am
If Kender weren't so awesome I wouldn't do stupid things like stay up until 5:00am writing fics. :B

I'm half kidding. I took a nap from 9pm until 12:30am so...then I did my French homework *and* my pre-lab for Friday. Now all I have to do when I wake up again is study for my exam on Friday, read The Awakening, and print off stuff regarding my French skit/etc.


The class discussion went pretty well, by the way. Half the men didn't show up, and everyone was really mature. I'm not sorry I went. We're continuing the discussion on Friday. (How are we gonna make it through The Catcher in the Rye at this rate...?)


My professor for Creative Writing wants me to read something aloud but I don't really want to. Sigh. I don't have anything I'd WANT to read aloud, either, I don't think. Hmm.

Edit: Tried to sleep, couldn't because stupid idea wouldn't go away for something I could read for class. So. I got my ass up and wrote it. Now it's like 8am. To go to sleep or...not to go to sleep. the question.