15 February 2013 @ 06:11 pm
This wasn't going to be an FE-bruary post but it is now. I just talk too much. I guess it's pretty general though regarding RPing and writing (coauthoring or even alone I guess), but I use a lot of Fire Emblem examples.

Aw yeah, so most of you know I've been RPing up a storm. The ToS RP sadly died, but it got this long first:

I mostly got bored of it...ehhh because my RP partner is really, really conservative or something and even though it's nice to have someone not all like YEAHHH SEX it's like, come on, characters are going to have those kinds of thoughts at least? Or thoughts leaning in that direction? (Barring asexuality of course; my character is not asexual.) But those things make her uncomfortable. Which I'm totally okay with. But if you want a lot of cute scenes between two characters who are interested in one another, okay, and you want them to do things like sleep in the same bed (but not have sex), you still can't deny that, y'know, the male half is sometimes gonna have at least thoughts and probably some happy morning funtimes to go along with all that. Which of course I couldn't even mention or think of mentioning, which made their interactions seem really, really flat. Relationships don't really work that way. Eventually there's something there that's, y'know, physical. For most people.

And a LOT of stuff happened, so it's not like it's just a lot of slice-of-life. There was a lot of action, too. The thing is practically an epic-length fanfic all on its own. I could have kept going but the characters started to feel really stale.


On the other side of the fence I've also been RPing with [personal profile] kender and this thing we're gonna have to turn into a fanfic. In fact, Kender is such an awesome RP partner I just want to kidnap her and write lots of co-authored 'fic together, including some of our evil collab ideas from a few years ago. (b-l-a-n-k-e-t-s-c-e-n-a-r-i-o & h-o-r-r-o-r-f-i-c)

Our current RP is a Hector/Farina and here's what our word count looks like:

I think around 200k, it might be wrapping up? Maybe. Either way, Kender is a most excellent Hector, lemme just say that right off. Damn. But the best thing is that we don't discuss much in advance. She writes any awesome actiony scenes (s-p-a-r-r-i-n-g) that we do discuss the outcome of, and sometimes we question why a character does/says something and we can explain it and talk about why they'd act that way/et cetera. But for the most part we just let stuff happen. There's not a lot of "If he does/says this, how will she react?" going on. While I totally approve of that under certain circumstances (writing yourself into a corner/ruining the story you want to tell SUCKS), I find most people have a really hard time not making things happen that they really want to happen...but some things need to happen a little more naturally. A person has to realize that the character they're roleplaying as doesn't have TIME to THINK--and this goes DOUBLE for characters like Hector and Farina who never really seem to do a lot of thinking before speaking anyway. Okay, so while someone like Eliwood throws everything through a filter first, most characters aren't gonna be sitting there for 20 minutes thinking of what to say.

I will admit, though, that I might say, "When Farina comes back to Ostia she's going to ______." I do this mostly when I come up with something interesting, that Kender can't really say, "I know exactly how Hector will react to that," because it hasn't happened yet, but it might give us something to look forward to, and it lets us plan a little in advance regarding our specific character(s) and possible outcomes, too. A little manipulation is okay--writing fanfiction is close enough anyway IMO--but too much is really bad for a story.

Surprise is great. I mean, sometimes I get so invested in "being" Farina that the stuff Hector says makes me sad or angry or sometimes it even hurts. It's like I'm sitting there going, "Wow, if I were Farina, this would just make me cry/laugh/scream/rage/leave the room." But I'm feeling it, too. And sometimes Hector's reactions to the things Farina says/does? Surprises me. Seriously, I don't see it coming, it's like, WOW why is he acting that way? WOW. WHY? But then later it's like, OOH that makes sense, wow!

Because people don't always act like you think they will, because (shock!) other people are not you. They don't think the same, act the same, talk the same, walk the same, experience things in the same way, or see things with the same eyes. That element of surprise is why this RPing is so much fun. It's like coauthoring a story but only having control over one or two characters leaves you going ahhhh what will they do next? Leaving you with the suspense that your character(s) might ALSO be feeling because THEY can't predict what someone else is going to do, either.

But continuing on that subject, something else I think is important regarding RP is natural interaction, which is why I don't over-encourage pre-planning too much. You obviously have a direction you want to move in, but still. If you constantly plan everything stuff will start to sound trite and very contrived. You don't want dialogue sounding like a conspiracy. (/bad reference GO)

For that matter, if you want to initiate an argument between two characters, just let them be themselves. While Florina's not likely to start arguing with everyone ever, every single person (and therefore every character) has something that just really grinds their gears, and you know what? The game doesn't always tell us what those things are. We know Kent gets really snappy about irresponsibility/laziness, and Lyn hates people who hurt innocents, but what about Eliwood? (Injustice?) Hector? (Being told what to do?) Wil? (I have no damn idea.) I mean, everyone has something. And some things would piss anyone off.

This is helpful to think about just for writing fanfiction too, though, I think. A lot of people claim to struggle with dialogue but there's really only one key: people talk. They talk without overthinking everything they say. They usually say the first thing to come to mind, or the second thing if they can't say the first.

Even if, "How goes it?" is replaced by, "How fare you?" in regards to characters like Sain, it's the same basic idea, and the character he's responding to will respond with, "I'm good, how're you?" or some variation thereof.

Also remember that most people don't approach other people specifically to talk to them if they've got nothing to say, and trying to force them to say something sounds forced.

But every conversation doesn't have to be profound, either. Maybe Meg is going to talk to Zihark about this year's crops, or the three-field-and-fallow system or something mundane that's easy to talk about, easier still if he doesn't know a lot about it and can ask her questions that she knows the answers to. Or maybe Haar sees Jill looking a little off and he walks up to her and says, "You really miss him, don't you?" and all she says in response is, "Yes," because nothing else needs said to convey exactly what it is you want to say, which is, Hey look! They're having a normal conversation! or, He gets her.

To the fandom's credit I haven't read a lot of 'fic with dialogue that felt forced. (But I tend to read only certain things and most people whose stuff I read seem to know how to write dialogue already, or at least have a decent grasp of it.) But it's something I've seen a lot of people stressing over. I like to imagine that I'm pretty good at dialogue most of the time, but there are some characters I simply cannot write (Bastian; he's so awesome but seriously I cannot mimic that speech pattern and thanks to the Fire Emblem Dressing Room's version of him speaking in only iambic pentameter I can't stop thinking about it; wasn't that version also a rapper version of him?), and other characters I'm just not very good at writing (Sain, Lute).

I think most people will find characters whose personalities they find naturally easier to write. For me, I'd have to say I think Farina's pretty easy to write (though her personality is très complexe!), and so is Lyn, Jill, and probably Kent (complexe aussi!).

And then you have characters who will just always be more difficult to work with, like Hector and Wallace. People can say Wallace is easy to write because he's so funny, but not many people have attempted to write Wallace as he's shown in his supports with Lyn (like a father figure) or Kent (mentor). Usually they have him GWA HA HAing all over the place which is still in character but only if you're trying to be funny, which most people are. The problem is that Wallace is still a person/character and has feelings, motivations, et cetera--nobody bothers to explore them. With Hector, he's just so pushy and obnoxious and always-right that you feel like you have to write him that way...but in the end, he's got a more sensitive side, too (seriously, those supports with Serra and Farina? omg, he's actually quite understanding and nice, and he LIKES to help other people), and that can be really hard to capture in a franchise where most characters on the surface appear to be one-trick pony characters (or almost literally are, cough Kieran cough Ilyana). Digging deeper and writing a character as 3D is a challenge, and that goes double if you're writing a short 'fic, because you want people to say, "WOW! This is completely in character, I'm impressed!" but that's hard to pull off in a short amount of words.

I'm done rambling now. My apologies. :D

Thoughts? What characters do you find hard to write? What's hardest for you to write in a story? Dialogue? Description? Scenes? Battles?
04 January 2013 @ 11:29 pm
Whenever I get really bored, I think to myself, "Hey, I know what time it is. It's make a journal entry time!"

I really don't know what to talk about.

Pretty sure it's like 11:30 and I haven't eaten in almost 12 hours. I should probably do that. No wonder I'm so braindead/tired. That and I didn't get much sleep.

I wrote a thing. I'm kind of disgusted that it's been more than a month since I wrote anything. I have been seriously slacking. Also I hate the wintertime. But back to writing: dang, what is inspiration?

I mean, fandom has practically died on LJ. It's slow as shit on DW. And to make things even sadder, Tumblr fandom is just one shitstorm of drama after another, and over the stupidest shit, too.

(There is an obnoxious part of me that wants to popcorn.gif all of the FE drama on Tumblr but honestly I am just so far from giving even one iota of shit that it's kind of disturbing. Granted, at one time I'd have been right in the middle of it, soapboxing like a boss, but now it's kind of just...yeahno. I have better things to do. Like making another alt in WoW. Or drawing badly in a sketchbook. Or writing this pointless entry.)

Back to fandom. Don't get me wrong. I love me some fandom. But good grief, what is with this slowing-down stuff? I guess it's expected. I've been around a long time. Not as long as some, but I've been lurking since FE7 was released, so for a relatively long time, honestly. Pretty much everything that I could imagine to discuss has probably already been discussed by someone, somewhere. And I think I've almost hit that point where I'm like, "Ehhh, you know what? Not worth my time."

Meta, discussion, whatever. I guess I could start some, I always have super obnoxious opinions and thoughts. About everything. I'm probably one of the most opinionated people you've ever met in your life, even if you don't realize it yet. But that requires work. And thinking. And me actually considering game canon. And for the most part, it's Does anyone care? Probably not. So again, I'll do something else. Sadly even with FE fandom dying, ToS fandom has been pretty much dead for a long time. Stuff gets posted, but nobody is gleefully posting character discussion anymore. Prooooobably because nobody cares anymore. Because ToS is old. For a viddya game.

But who am I kidding? I'm just stupid-nostalgic. For the good old days. When I wrote with wild and carefree abandon, even if I did suck, and where reviews weren't something so rare that you nearly died inside receiving them. (I'm not really helping with this problem, though, just putting that out there. I find reading 'fic on FFN tedious and rely heavily on recommendations. And I follow very few writing blogs. And to make myself look like even more of a douchecanoe, I only go to the FE section on FFN like once every few months, and usually it's to find something specific.)

I'll even take the not-as-good old days, back when fandom was booming. And people were like YEAHHHH. And everyone was at least polite, even if they didn't like someone.

It used to feel like I was a part of something. I don't feel that way anymore.

I know the anon meme was a horrible piece of shit, but we can't blame everything on it. I don't think so, anyway. I mean, we were the people posting there. People in the fandom. And some people said some awfully hurtful things. It's not the anon meme's fault that people decided to be a douche just because it was anonymous--as if being a jerk anonymously is somehow okay.

But I know also that a lot of people went through life-changing things in the last few years: family members passed away, people entered into or left relationships, people moved away from home, went to college, got new jobs, et cetera. Those things can leave you with less time for fandom, and sometimes you'll just stop feeling like fandom is as important. I will probably never feel that way, because most of you have been around me for a long time, and when my life was headed down an 80 degree slope of self-pity (or whatever), the people on my friends-list were the people that were there for me. I don't forget shit like that...ever.

Now, in ten years, some of you I probably won't know anymore. You'll have moved on, maybe we won't have anything in common anymore, blah blah blah. But there are a large number of you that I hope not to lose contact with. I think a huge part of the issue for me regarding fandoms starting to die is because I have such a hard time making friends IRL, when I finally make friends (in person or online), I get really irate at having to let them go. Such is the life of an introvert. It's hard for me to stay in contact with people I have nothing in common with, though...but fear not: I have very little in common with a large number of you, but I still read your entries (even if I say nothing) and enjoy reading about your lives.

In a manner of speaking, real life posts ruined a lot of friendships in the FE fandom. Buuuuuuut in the end I think it drew some people closer, too, and if a friendship was so shallow that it didn't last through a few entries about someone's personal life, maybe it's not as solid a friendship as a person might originally think, eh?

I might have to hide in the super quiet ToS fandom for a while and write my obscure OTP. I have some fellow obsessed buddies over there.

PS. Kender and I are email-RPing Hector and Farina and it's fun. Weeeee.
30 December 2012 @ 12:32 pm
Have you ever read a 'fic, and you were just so amazed by it that you couldn't stand it? You can't pinpoint whether it's jealousy or amazement that you're even feeling, because it's just that good of a story?

There's this one 'fic I just keep coming back to. Well, two, really. I mean, in my lifetime there have only ever been a handful of 'fics that I kept being blown away by, even after I'd re-read more than a few times.

I swear, as soon as the boyfriend goes home...I am going to write so much ToS 'fic it will hurt everyone around me. I SWEAR.


Random aside: My Great Books class says...there are no books. Now. Someone explain to me how that works, exactly. -_-
29 December 2012 @ 02:14 pm
It's been a long week, haha. My introverted self is excited for school to start back up so that I have some alonetime. (weh, weh, qq more, etc)

At any rate, I have forced Neal to play Tales of Symphonia. He's about 10 hours in (he just broke into the Asgard Human Ranch) and his team is:

Lloyd, Kratos, Raine, Genis.

(Not that this is very surprising.)

He keeps calling Kratos "CRAY-tos", which cracks me up, but he seems to have not noticed most hints. Things I found that were funny were:

spoilers! )

He seems to like Raine, he makes fun of Lloyd a lot--but seems to like him all right, he says his brother would be running around with Sheena as his avatar (lol booobs), he thinks Lloyd/Colette is pretty much the cutest thing ever...and just yeah. It's so fun forcing other people to play games. I feel sort of bad about it, though: I can't help but wonder how bored he is of playing it. LOL.

That said, while we've been doing dungeons, I've forced him to watch Gilmore Girls...which he admits he likes...and he ships Luke/Lorelai like burning and cheered when Rachael left AND when Lorelai broke up with Max (both times). He said he's never getting his Man Card back again.
27 December 2012 @ 06:28 pm
I've gotta say, I wish I wasn't an introvert. There are lots of really cool introverted characters in games/movies/TV/etc., but nothing takes the pressure off of being an introvert in real life except maybe the knowledge that comes with being one yourself. (It gives you leeway to write about introverts with because you know.)

It's of very little consolation. At the end of the day, you still face the troubles befalling an introvert In Real Life.

This is why, despite the fact that I love being represented by characters in odd ways (blondes! introverts! personality matches! moral values!), at the end of the day, I realize it matters very little beyond a very surface approach.

For example, if someone bothered to write a toothless character into a book/movie/manga/whatever, I doubt it would really boost my self-esteem. I doubt it would make me feel awesome. Why? Because at the end of the day, I'm left feeling one of two things. Either:

A. I wish I was that person, they're so much cooler than me despite having the same [insert problem/issue/etc here]. :(
or B. Well that was cool, but they're not real, and people don't always react that way, so while this is nice and it pleases me to see this used...I can separate this enough in my mind that it doesn't have a profound effect on me.

This isn't always true. For example, I've been delighted beyond belief to find characters that I could relate to a lot. Lyndis, for example. Raine Sage. Jill. Farina. Oscar François. This list goes on, even including some male characters--because personality is personality!

At the end of the day, though, it doesn't matter how much I wish I looked like/acted like/was [insert character here], because it's not going to happen. The best I can ever hope is to cosplay them.

Not that I want to lose my family to a bandit attack (Lyndis), be abandoned by my parents and have to raise a sibling (Raine), have to kill my own father (Jill), be so dependent on money that I can't trust people (Farina), or have an identity crisis (Oscar)...because I don't. But the characters are still relateable and fun and just generally they are something to me that I can never actually be myself.

It's kind of sad, really, how much I wish I could just sort of...take their place. I guess I never really got too much into RP because I know I need to toe the line between reality and fantasy and I can't afford to tip too far into fantasy-land and let myself wish too hard for something to be real that cannot ever be real. It's sad, I know!

But here's the clincher:

Characters are generally very 2D.

Granted, some games (RPGs) give us characters who are better-balanced, but even our likely-to-be-an-introvert (and likely-to-be-an-extrovert) characters...don't really show us anything beyond surface introvert/extrovert tendencies.

Let's look at Raine, because I'm on such a Symphonia kick. She is a teacher, so you'd think, "Oh, she works with other people. She must be an extrovert!" But then you see that she actually keeps most things to herself, only really opens her mouth when she knows she's going to be right--or has a really good guess--and/or nobody else will speak up, so then you think, "Hey, maybe she's actually an introvert."

Keep moving through the story, and you think, "Either way, it doesn't affect the storyline. She's a private person. She keeps to herself. She shares very little and denies a lot of things that might otherwise give the party more information about herself. But this doesn't really scream introvert or extrovert. It's just...her."

I think it's pretty safe to assume that Raine doesn't exactly thrive on the company of other people, so let's say she's an introvert for simplicity's sake. But this isn't brought up in the game and then only makes sense to bring up in fanfiction. But when does this matter? Possibly never. Not many people write stories about Raine and bring up her needing time alone--or wanting it. In fact, most of the time, people assume that, because she spends so much time alone or around her brother, because she doesn't share things with other people, that she's secretly dying inside to share her space and heart and body with someone else. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm a shipper. I love writing and reading romance despite being aromantic in real life. But people who are alone sometimes...enjoy...being...alone.

Okay wow. Shock and gasp. Lots of characters spend time alone and possibly don't enjoy it--or would be okay with being around others depending on who that other person is--but nobody writes about Raine Sage dealing with being an introvert. Or...any character...dealing with being an introvert. To the best of my knowledge.

This has a personal point, I swear.

Personal hooplah under here. )

It's a lot harder to deal with being an introvert than I could have ever thought.
25 December 2012 @ 04:03 pm
Doing the Tales of Symphonia 30-Day Meme thing.

1.Favorite Character

Raine Sage. ;)

I have a ton of reasons why, but basically I've always been able to identify with her the best of all of the cast. She puts up a really strong public face even when she has some deep-seated issues. She has things she can't seem to keep under wraps (her obsession/love for ancient things), but for the most part, she manages to present this really "together" person in front of everyone else--even other adults.

She's also a teacher, and since I've wanted to do that longer than just about any profession, that sort of drew me to her instantly. She takes no crap from anyone, she raised her brother (I half-raised my sister), she did what had to be done because it needed done. She stands up for what she believes in--and sometimes this is hard and she struggles to do it because of that very reason. She struggles with identity (I think) due to how she (we assume) was treated in the past and how her people are still being treated during the time the game takes place.

At the end of the day, she's a really badass but secretly insecure person. I think that's awesome because I feel in person it's so much easier to present a public face to the world that's pulled together while being SECRETLY scared or unsure or whatever.

Despite her radical fangirling over ruins/etc, she's a pretty stable, interesting character, and one that I can relate to on a personal level (for several reasons) I like her. :D

A lot.
23 December 2012 @ 02:31 am
So I found this really cool post on Tumblr--a character defense essay, sort of. About Regal! :D

First of all, here's the link. This post will partially be a response to that post and partially be just me rambling incoherently.

Second of all, most of you should know I ship Regal with two characters: 1.) Alicia, 2.) Raine. (Unsurprising I hope, to those that know me.)

Tales of Symphonia spoilers and stuff. )

Ugh it's 2:30am and I have so much other stuff to do, so I'll stop here. It always makes me sad when people dismiss a character for any fandom with no real rhyme or reason—and without giving them any consideration at all. There are very few characters I can say I've legitimately hated over the years…probably because I take the time to try to figure them out before I make a solid decision on how much I like them.

Tales of Symphonia had probably the most likable cast of any RPG I've ever played…and I used to play a lot of them.

Obviously I love Regal, though…or I wouldn't RP as him. Heh. But even with my bias aside, I think it's important to understand a character, even one you find pretty "meh"; people have changed my opinion of characters before just by telling me why they liked them, or just by writing up a study of them.

…Shutting up now ahhh.
23 December 2012 @ 12:45 am
I have gotten super lazy about updating this thing and for that I do apologize. Neal is coming down tomorrow. :)

fandom post on regal bryant coming soon to a journal near you

would be faster but I keep tl;dring omg.
07 December 2012 @ 12:47 pm
So I am here to pimp a couple of 'fics:

The Noble Spice and One of Us.

The first one is a finished four-piece (rather short) piece that's just...ahhh amazing. It's not very shippy but it's so well-done I guarantee everyone will like it who reads it I JUST GUARANTEE IT AHHH.

The second one is more blatantly shippy and the author loves "Da Cutes" so there's that. But it's fun.

Both are TALES OF SYMPHONIA fics, and both are Regal/Raine. If you're sorta "meh" on the pairing I still suggest reading the first of them. It's so good. I almost cried because they hadn't written another fic. LOL.


PS. Exam was...okay. :/
22 November 2012 @ 10:19 pm
Happy Thanksgiving. :D My family is out Black Friday shopping already. HAHAHA.

So I was sitting here thinking about doing "art", and I decided I wanted to play a cd. And for some reason the thought entered my head that I shouldn't put a cd into my radio/stereo, because it might be too loud and it might wake my grandmother up.

Two huge problems with this.

The first is that she died in 2008.

The second is that I'm living in her apartment.

I have no idea why that thought even crossed my mind. Maybe because it's Thanksgiving and "family time" and all that. I'm not sure. An interesting thought.


That said, I've gotten into RPing again. My Tales of Symphonia friend was looking for another buddy to paragraph-RP with via email and after we goofingly RP'd a bit in WoW together, I decided to give it a try.

This reminds me of the good old days having silly fun RPs with [personal profile] amusetache and [personal profile] sain. <3

Except this is even better because it's easier to do via email I think? I don't know. I'm so out of touch with RP. But I did roll a panda monk to RP...or try. She's gonna be an adventurer and stuff... I really want to draw her.


Speaking of drawing I am so incredibly bored and I will be up late (and I'm too lazy to do the stuff I should be doing). Anybody have a favorite pokemon I can doodle up for them?
16 October 2012 @ 11:24 pm
Today's update:

-Ann (my grandmother on my dad's side) is in the ICU, she has pneumonia. They're thinking she might not live much longer. For the past couple of years she's really been struggling with her health; this isn't expected but I can't help but feel bad for my grandfather. If Ann dies, that will be his second wife dying before him. That's sad.

-I picked up crocheting again. Yay.

-Tomorrow is a midterm for my science times. :U

-I'm still feeling pumped about history. I want to take allllll the history classes ever. Now.

-In Tales of Symphonia I'm parked outside of Ozette. Mostly because I'm taking notes and also because it's fucking depressing and I can't deal with that at this moment. Maybe on Thursday. This is one of the darkest things I ever have seen in a viddya game. Gahhh.
13 October 2012 @ 11:47 pm
You know what's crazy? It just sorta hit me this morning.

I got a PM from a member of the Fire Emblem community. I remember this person from when I started writing Tales of Symphonia fics, though they might have been around before that for other fandoms. (I used to have a lot of followers who just...followed from fandom to fandom, like how someone from the InuYasha fandom saw I was writing for an anime and watched Rose of Versailles just to follow the 'fics. o_o)

Either way, this person is in law school now.

And I'm over here like. Wow. I've watched the people in this fandom grow up. Some people I met when they were ~14 or so, and now they're in their 20s.

It's like.


What. When did this happen?

08 October 2012 @ 06:23 pm
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Soc was cancelled so now I'm sitting here instead waiting for my brother to get out of class.



The Alphabet Meme

Easy rules: request a letter, a word that starts with that letter, and a pairing/character/characters/idea for a short story

Specific rules:
For Fire Emblem... )

For Symphonia )

Feel free to take a few letters if you want, cause honestly, I don't think that many people will be clamoring for fic. :O
07 October 2012 @ 11:17 pm
I am a combination of two gifs right now.

I played Tales of Symphonia for hours today.

gif #1:

And gif #2 which is actually a jpg and which is possibly more accurate:

And then there's gif #3 which will happen as soon as I start writing fanfiction again:

I have like six pages of notes and my part is level uhmmmm 25-27. Aw yeah. I can't wait to get Regal though. I finally made it to the TOWER OF MANA. Too bad I must take a shower and go to bed. I mean...I was supposed to do that two hours ago but there was youtube and blah and blah and

school tomorrow and

ça m'énerve!!!
06 October 2012 @ 11:47 pm
So I'm laughing at my old ToS fanfic (except for a couple of disgustingly cute Lloyd/Colette ones) and I find the review I forgot was my favorite review I've ever gotten. Check this shit out:

You sick minded fool. what the hell do you think your douing. you perverted asshole.

I still laugh every time I see it. XDDDD Oh man. What even. (It was for a Lloyd/Raine-ish story I wrote a long time ago. One-sided Raine-->Lloyd. I don't ship it now.)

I think tomorrow I'll put the alphabet meme thing up soooo all you ToS freaks get ready to pick letters and pairings and shit for me to write about. My ficbrain is working overtime.
06 October 2012 @ 09:48 pm
We listened to this in French class today:



Aaaaaaaaaaand I picked up Tales of Symphonia again!!!! I forgot how much I suck at the game. Or how much grinding I should be doing. Note to self: don't skip mobs, you need the XP. BADLY.

Dear Raine, stop wasting heals when I don't need them, and start healing before people actually die. Also stop saying SORRY GUYS when you die. It sounds so insincere. LOL.


You know you're at the EPITOME OF NERDDOM when you start writing notes on a game you're playing. JUST SAYING.
05 October 2012 @ 02:11 pm

How many Tales of Symphonia fans are on my flist? I'm considering starting off writing fanfic in that fandom with a one-shot collection, like the Alphabet Meme, but I'd need enough people to fill out the alphabet, so I'm just curious and also looking for ToS creepers to suggest stuff. And stuff. At least words. :U



03 October 2012 @ 01:18 am
So I finally

After many years

Watched the ToS OVAs.

And two things:


2.) Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Must play game. Must...write fanfiction. Must...

first sleep.

then game. then fanfiction.


otp. hee.

/babbles incoherently
15 July 2012 @ 02:18 am
Okay, license plate decision is between:


Still trying to pick. I'll decide tomorrow.


Oh look I WROTE A FIC for Rose of Versailles for BASTILLE DAY. sob.

It's not that good.

I have this problem when I write. I write sentences that sound cool to me, and then later when I go back and read them, I realize that, actually, the order I put those words in makes those sentences read like A SLUSHPILE MIXED WITH GRAVEL. Wow. That's why my old DBZ 'fics were SO BAD. My ideas might have been ace, but my execution was AWFUL. It made sense in my head, but later I realized I wrote everything in convoluted, almost backward ways. Not sure why I do that.

I wish I had known to proofread back then. -_-


I was thinking last night of the 'fics I regret abandoning. I have abandoned a LOT of 'fics. I've left a lot of POSTED 'fics abandoned, even the really popular ones from old fandoms like Rurouni Kenshin (NO THOSE WILL NEVER BE UPDATED OH GOD NO THEY WERE SO BAD).

But the one 'fic I regret abandoning the MOST was Then You Stand. Why? Cause that thing was the hardest 'fic I have ever tried to write. EVER. I complain about how hard lots of 'fic is to write, or 'fic in general, but writing the...second chapter was the biggest challenge of my life, for a lot of reasons.

I'm actually ASHAMED that I never finished that story. I get reviews on occasion for it still, and I get PMs semi-regularly from people hoping I'll update it. I really think I should go back to the RoV fandom and update it. Rewatch the anime, read the manga in French, get back into the fandom and be a badass. The people there are pretty much the nicest ever.

That story was one of my MUST WRITE things. The theme was, anyway. Not because I'm into freaky shit, but because, well, it's something I've wanted to write to prove that Everyone Else Does It Wrong-- since I was in the Tales of Symphonia fandom and I read a downright horrid story there that just pissed me off to high heaven. My ToS story (same theme) was terrible and fell through the floor. (Also I switched the main pairing JUST to piss people off. HAH.)

(Also, ToS. I wanna replay it SO BAD. But who has that kinda time, right?!)


family drama woo )

Blah blah blah. I know that fighting with siblings is somewhat normal, but in this household that is taken WAY, WAY too far. Like Outer Limits far. Wendy and I made up in like an hour, we always do. But I just give up with talking reason with people who refuse to listen. Casting pearls before swine and all that.